How a Christmas Tree Ate My Living Room

All I wanted was to buy a small, real tree to make my apartment smell like Christmas. After double checking my lease to make sure I was allowed to have a live tree, I happily dragged my boyfriend to the local tree farm to pick out the perfect tree. Last year I bought a tree that was about 5 ft tall, and it was the perfect manageable size for both my apartment and for a short person to deal with. I decided that I wanted one a teeny bit bigger this year, maybe six feet tall, but still small enough that I could deal with it on my own.

Trying to find the perfect tree

When we got to the tree farm I gleefully started looking at all the shorter trees, trying to find the one. After a bit of searching I saw it. It was about 2 feet shorter than the trees around it, but it was still fuller than most of the other short trees on the lot which were looking a bit sparse. We tracked down an employee, helped him tie the tree onto my boyfriend's truck and went to pay. I noticed that the price was a little steep for a mini tree, but I chalked it up to the price of supporting small local businesses instead of getting it at the local Home Depot like I did last year. (Because nothing gets you in the Christmas spirit like picking out your tree at a local big box retail store's parking lot.) I shrugged it off and we drove home.

I should have been tipped off when it took both of us to carry the tree into the apartment. Last year I was able to carry my tree with one hand. I figured it was because we hadn't had the tree netted, so it was just unruly, if we had netted it then surely I would have been able to carry it in alone. So we hauled it upstairs and wrestled it into the stand. The top of the tree hit the ceiling. We realized that once the branches unthawed and straightened out, it was going take up half my living room. And then it promptly fell over. And almost hit my tv.

My "little" tree is gigantic.

From Twitter, @neroliblossoms: I accidentally brought home a gigantic Christmas tree. I think it's trying to eat me. It's already devoured half of the living room...

help

However, Kacey and I were able to wrangle the thing into submission, and now it is lit and decorated.